Quote

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Asks
Boredom
Funny
Spots
Many
Count
Real
Bored
Great
Drive
Like
Leaving
Downtown
People
Car
Parking
Humor
Spot

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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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