Quote

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
People
Car
Parking
Humor
Spot
Asks
Boredom
Funny
Spots
Many
Count
Real
Bored
Great
Drive
Like
Leaving
Downtown

More quotes by Steven Wright

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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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