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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Prevented
Pills
Babies
Showed
Mad
Baby
Dream
Pill

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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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