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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Best
Walk
Ever
Friend
Kind
Walks
Never
Feeling
Like
Word
Funny
Feelings
Away
Conversation

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
Steven Wright
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The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
Steven Wright
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
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You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.
Steven Wright
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven Wright
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Steven Wright
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
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I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
Steven Wright
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
Steven Wright
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I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
Steven Wright
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright