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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Like
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Funny
Feelings
Away
Conversation
Best
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Ever
Friend
Kind
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Never
Feeling

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
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The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
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I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Steven Wright
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
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The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
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The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright
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I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
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When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
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Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
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When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright