Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Best
Walk
Ever
Friend
Kind
Walks
Never
Feeling
Like
Word
Funny
Feelings
Away
Conversation
More quotes by Steven Wright
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
Steven Wright
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Steven Wright
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
Steven Wright
To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
Steven Wright
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
