Quote

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Culture
People
Bacteria
Support

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
Steven Wright
Image
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
Image
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
Steven Wright
Image
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
Image
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
Image
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
Image
I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
Steven Wright
Image
If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
Steven Wright
Image
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
Image
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
Image
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
Image
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright
Image
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
Image
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
Steven Wright