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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Ideas
Lisp
Cruel
Whose
Humor
Word
Funny
Idea
More quotes by Steven Wright
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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