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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Scientist
Humor
Funny
Universe
Everything
Expanding
Scientists

More quotes by Steven Wright

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The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
Steven Wright
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I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
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If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Steven Wright
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright