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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Expanding
Scientists
Scientist
Humor
Funny
Universe
Everything

More quotes by Steven Wright

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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
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If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
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I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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