Quote

When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Pencil
Erase
Pencils
Humor
Word
Funny
Doe

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
Image
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
Image
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Steven Wright
Image
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
Image
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
Image
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
Image
I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
Steven Wright
Image
I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.
Steven Wright
Image
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
Image
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Image
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
Image
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
Steven Wright
Image
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
Image
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright