Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Men
Apes
Evolved
Monkeys
Humor
Funny
Stills
Still
More quotes by Steven Wright
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
Steven Wright
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Steven Wright
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
