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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Funny
Stills
Still
Men
Apes
Evolved
Monkeys

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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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