Quote

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Space
Entire
Funny
Mines
Card
Wish
Mine
Post
Earth
Planets
Posts
Back
Friendship
Sent
Friend
Cards
Humor
Planet
Taken
Picture

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
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My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
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