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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Wish
Mine
Post
Earth
Planets
Posts
Back
Friendship
Sent
Friend
Cards
Humor
Planet
Taken
Picture
Space
Entire
Funny
Mines
Card
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
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Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
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Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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