Quote

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Brother
Wrap
Took
Wraps
Humor
Holiday
Told
Bought
Stop
Print
Funny
Department
Different
Christmas
Would
Gift

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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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