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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Word
Phonetically
Spelled
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
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At one point he decided enough was enough.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
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My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
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The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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