Quote

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Five
Word
Funny
Monosyllabic
Syllables

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
Steven Wright
Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
Steven Wright
Image
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
Image
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
Image
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
Image
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
Image
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
Image
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
Image
I had amnesia once or twice.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven Wright
Image
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
Steven Wright
Image
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
Image
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright
Image
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright