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Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Five
Word
Funny
Monosyllabic
Syllables

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always remember your unique, just like everone else
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
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I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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