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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Chess
Entire
Pawn
Pawns
Shop
Shops

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
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I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright