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Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Pawn
Pawns
Shop
Shops
Chess
Entire

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I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
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Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
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I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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