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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Merely
Angry
Sarcasm
Without
Sarcastic
Depression
Psychological
Enthusiasm
Anger

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
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I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
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In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.
Steven Wright