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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Depression
Psychological
Enthusiasm
Anger
Merely
Angry
Without
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
More quotes by Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.
Steven Wright
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Steven Wright
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
Day One: Still tired from the move.
Steven Wright
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
Steven Wright
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
Steven Wright