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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Merely
Angry
Without
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Depression
Psychological
Enthusiasm
Anger
More quotes by Steven Wright
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
What do batteries run on?
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
Steven Wright
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.
Steven Wright
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
Steven Wright
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
Steven Wright
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Steven Wright
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright