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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Psychological
Enthusiasm
Anger
Merely
Angry
Without
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Depression
More quotes by Steven Wright
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
Day One: Still tired from the move.
Steven Wright
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Steven Wright
The sky already fell. Now what?
Steven Wright
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
Steven Wright
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Steven Wright
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.
Steven Wright
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright