Quote

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Unconscious
Humor
Funny
Littles
Little
Birdies
Knocked

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
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I bought some powdered water, but I don’t know what to add.
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When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
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I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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I washed mud off of mud.
Steven Wright
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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
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What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
Steven Wright
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
Steven Wright