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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Birdies
Knocked
Unconscious
Humor
Funny
Littles
Little

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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
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Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
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A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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Do fish get cramps after eating?
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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