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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Birdies
Knocked
Unconscious
Humor
Funny
Littles
Little

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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
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When I was on TV in the '80s, I wasn't thinking, 'There's a 10-year-old kid watching this and in 15 years, he's gonna be doing stuff that was influenced by me.' I was trying to get my five minutes together. So now that those people are comedians and they're influenced by me - it's bizarre.
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.
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I took a baby shower.
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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