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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Knocked
Unconscious
Humor
Funny
Littles
Little
Birdies

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To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
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All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.
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I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
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I took a baby shower.
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I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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