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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Knocked
Unconscious
Humor
Funny
Littles
Little
Birdies

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me?
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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I took a baby shower.
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If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
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People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
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