Quote

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Seats
Planes
Dragging
Wings
Terminal
Forget
Belt
Take
Belts
People
Knocking
Seat
Plane

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
Image
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
Image
Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
Steven Wright
Image
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
Steven Wright
Image
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
Image
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Steven Wright
Image
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
Steven Wright
Image
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
Image
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
Image
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
Image
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
Steven Wright
Image
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright