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Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Cattle
Stock
Laughing
Humor
Sense
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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
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I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
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I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
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If heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
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My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.
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For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
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Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
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I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.
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I saw a want ad. light housekeeping. They said Here, change this bulb. I said I'll need some friends.
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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