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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Imagine
Look
Nowhere
Looks
Phones
Would
Near
Mouth
Weird
Mouths
Ears
More quotes by Steven Wright
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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