Quote

Is 'tired old cliché' one?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Tired
Clich

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
Image
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
Image
It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
Image
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
Image
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Steven Wright
Image
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
Steven Wright
Image
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
Image
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
Image
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went Aaaaahhhh...
Steven Wright
Image
You know the old joke, I went to the fights and a hockey game broke out.
Steven Wright
Image
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
Image
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright