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Is 'tired old cliché' one?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Clich
Tired

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
Steven Wright
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
Steven Wright
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
Steven Wright
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
Steven Wright
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
Steven Wright
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I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.
Steven Wright
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
Steven Wright
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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
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I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
Steven Wright
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
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Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Steven Wright