Quote

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Paramedics
Refer
Roman
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Steven Wright
Image
I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
Steven Wright
Image
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
Image
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
Image
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
Steven Wright
Image
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
Image
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
Image
I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops
Steven Wright
Image
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
Image
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
Steven Wright
Image
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
Image
Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
What do batteries run on?
Steven Wright
Image
My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright
Image
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Steven Wright
Image
I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.
Steven Wright