Quote

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Paramedics
Refer
Roman
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
Image
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
Steven Wright
Image
It's a fine night to have an evening.
Steven Wright
Image
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
Image
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
Steven Wright
Image
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
Image
I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
Steven Wright
Image
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
Image
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.
Steven Wright
Image
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright
Image
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright
Image
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Steven Wright
Image
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
Steven Wright
Image
I changed my headlights the other day. I put in strobe lights instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is standing still.
Steven Wright
Image
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Image
Do fish get cramps after eating?
Steven Wright
Image
My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
Steven Wright
Image
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
Image
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
Image
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
Steven Wright