Quote

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Paramedics
Refer
Roman
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Steven Wright
Image
I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
Steven Wright
Image
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven Wright
Image
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
Image
Why do banks charge you a non-sufficient funds fee on money they already know you don't have?
Steven Wright
Image
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
Image
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Steven Wright
Image
Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
Steven Wright
Image
I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
Image
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
Image
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
Steven Wright
Image
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
Image
The things I talk about and explain couldn't happen - yet, they don't seem impossible - you could say I talk about the world in an abstract perspective. But then, the world is basically insane - and it's trying to pass itself off as being a sane place. I show it for what it is.
Steven Wright
Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
Steven Wright
Image
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright