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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Funny
Paramedics
Refer
Roman

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
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I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
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Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
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George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright