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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Paramedics
Refer
Roman
Humor
Funny

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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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I had amnesia once or twice.
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It's a fine night to have an evening.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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I wear a hat on stage so that people won't be blinded by the reflection from my head. Also, if I don't wear a hat, there's no way that the hat can be at that level by itself on the stage.
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I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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