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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Paramedics
Refer
Roman
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Steven Wright
I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.
Steven Wright
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Steven Wright
Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright
I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
Steven Wright
Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Steven Wright
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
I had my coat hangers spayed.
Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
