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Is it possible to be totally partial?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Totally
Possible
Partial

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
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If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
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I collect rare photographs... I have two... One of Houdini locking his keys in his car... the other is a rare picture of Norman Rockwell beating up a child.
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If God dropped acid, would he see people?
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
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I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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OK, so what's the speed of dark?
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
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