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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Doe
Tickle
Fuzzy
Logic
More quotes by Steven Wright
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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I need one of those baby monitors from my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, 'Wish you were here.
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I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
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Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
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Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.
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You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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