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Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Tickle
Fuzzy
Logic
Doe
More quotes by Steven Wright
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
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Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
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The sky already fell. Now what?
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Whatever happened to preparations A through G?
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I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
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Snakes have no arms. That's why they don't wear vests.
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
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I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
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Hermits have no peer pressure.
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.
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So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
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I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
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