Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Doe
Tickle
Fuzzy
Logic
More quotes by Steven Wright
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.
Steven Wright
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
The sign said eight items or less. So I changed my name to Les.
Steven Wright
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.
Steven Wright
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
Steven Wright
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
Steven Wright
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
Steven Wright
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Steven Wright
I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
Steven Wright
I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.
Steven Wright
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright