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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Much
Would
Sponges
Deeper
Ocean
Humor
Funny
Didn
Live

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking down everything in the store.
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Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
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I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.
Steven Wright
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
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I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
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Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
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Babies don't need a vacation. But I still see them at the beach. It pisses me off.
Steven Wright
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
Steven Wright
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I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.
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I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
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I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I do is create. I'm feeling very lucky to have had the career I had. It's gone much longer and bigger than I ever thought it would be.
Steven Wright
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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.
Steven Wright