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How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Much
Would
Sponges
Deeper
Ocean
Humor
Funny
Didn
Live

More quotes by Steven Wright

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When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
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I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
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Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
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I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
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I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
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If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
Steven Wright
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
Steven Wright
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright