Quote

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Used
Colors
Naked
Band
Color
Clear
School

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Image
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
Steven Wright
Image
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
Steven Wright
Image
My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.
Steven Wright
Image
I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this <<<>>><<>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday.
Steven Wright
Image
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Steven Wright
Image
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Image
Did you sleep well? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Steven Wright
Image
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
Image
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Steven Wright
Image
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
Image
I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.
Steven Wright
Image
I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.
Steven Wright
Image
Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.
Steven Wright
Image
A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.
Steven Wright
Image
I'd like to sing you a song now about my old girlfriend. It's called They'll Find Her When the Leaves Blow Away 'Cause I'm Not Raking 'Til Spring.
Steven Wright
Image
I liked school, but I used to dread those moments when the teacher would call me up to give an oral report. I forced myself to deal with it and not dwell on the class in front of me - to keep a straight face, give the report and concentrate on getting it right. That's normally how I perform. That's how I am.
Steven Wright
Image
I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
Steven Wright
Image
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright