Quote

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
School
Used
Colors
Naked
Band
Color
Clear

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
Image
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
Image
Day One: Still tired from the move.
Steven Wright
Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.
Steven Wright
Image
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
Image
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
Image
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
Steven Wright
Image
I feel lucky that I can have people laugh solidly for a whole hour by just saying what I think and getting paid for it.
Steven Wright
Image
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Steven Wright
Image
I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.
Steven Wright
Image
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
Image
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
Image
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
Image
I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
Image
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Steven Wright
Image
I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
Steven Wright
Image
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright