Quote

You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Time
Think
Thinking
Stairs
Like
Step
Walking
Humor
Steps
Funny

More quotes by Steven Wright

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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
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All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
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I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.
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I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
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I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.
Steven Wright
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
Steven Wright
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Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
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When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven Wright
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Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring... 'How to Build a Boat.'
Steven Wright
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
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Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?
Steven Wright
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There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Steven Wright
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
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My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright