Quote

You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Steps
Funny
Time
Think
Thinking
Stairs
Like
Step
Walking
Humor

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
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Day One: Still tired from the move.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
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Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
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If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
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There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
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