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If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Funny
Seems
Wells
Everything
Well
Going
Overlooked
Something
Obviously
Life
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven Wright
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.
Steven Wright
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.
Steven Wright
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
Steven Wright
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
Steven Wright
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.
Steven Wright
Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.
Steven Wright
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
Steven Wright
