Quote

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Everything
Well
Going
Overlooked
Something
Obviously
Life
Humor
Funny
Seems
Wells

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
Image
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
Steven Wright
Image
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Steven Wright
Image
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, Do I know you?
Steven Wright
Image
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Steven Wright
Image
They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
Steven Wright
Image
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was ten, my pa told me never to talk to strangers. We haven't spoken since.
Steven Wright
Image
I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.
Steven Wright
Image
The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.
Steven Wright
Image
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
Image
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Image
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
Image
So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
Steven Wright
Image
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
Image
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
Image
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Steven Wright
Image
I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
Image
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
Image
Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.
Steven Wright