Quote

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Steven Wright

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Unfamiliar
Territory
Humor
Lost
Thought

More quotes by Steven Wright

Image
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
Steven Wright
Image
I've been doing comedy longer than I haven't been doing comedy, as I was performing for three years before I even got on 'The Tonight Show.' There's truly nothing like it it's intense and exhilarating, even though it looks so casual.
Steven Wright
Image
I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
Image
Is 'tired old cliché' one?
Steven Wright
Image
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
Steven Wright
Image
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
Image
I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Steven Wright
Image
I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it
Steven Wright
Image
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven Wright
Image
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
Steven Wright
Image
Doing stand-up is like running across a frozen pond with the ice breaking behind you. I love it because it's dangerous.
Steven Wright
Image
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
Image
I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, See, that's how it's done.
Steven Wright
Image
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Steven Wright
Image
I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
Steven Wright
Image
When I was a fetus, I used to sneak out at night when my mother was sleeping. I figured I should start stealing stuff while I still had no fingerprints.
Steven Wright
Image
I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.
Steven Wright
Image
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Steven Wright
Image
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
Steven Wright