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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Unfamiliar
Territory
Humor
Lost
Thought

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
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Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
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Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.
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What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
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I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.
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If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
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I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
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I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one – it wasn’t doing what I was doing.
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A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
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I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
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Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
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I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
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Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
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I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends.
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I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.
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One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
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I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, Stephen, why haven't you called me? I said, I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it. He said, How long have you had it? I said, I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
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