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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Lost
Thought
Unfamiliar
Territory
More quotes by Steven Wright
Real life? Well, I just hope mine isn't investigated. They might find that I don't really exist - that I'm just a hologram.
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I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.
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I had my coat hangers spayed.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
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Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
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My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
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I washed mud off of mud.
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If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
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Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
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I saw a sign: Rest Area 25 Miles. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.
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Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.
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To the audience, it's like I'm changing the subject every five seconds, but to me, my show's almost like a 90-minute song that I know exactly. I wrote every note, and I know exactly where everything is.
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In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.
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