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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Unfamiliar
Territory
Humor
Lost
Thought

More quotes by Steven Wright

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I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, I think I might have written that.
Steven Wright
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After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?
Steven Wright
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism to steal from many is research.
Steven Wright
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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
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You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
Steven Wright
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I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it.
Steven Wright
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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
Steven Wright
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If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Steven Wright
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Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright
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I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.
Steven Wright
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If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
Steven Wright
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The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
Steven Wright
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I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'
Steven Wright
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar.'
Steven Wright
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Steven Wright
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I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.
Steven Wright
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
Steven Wright
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I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, Do you want white cake or chocolate cake? I said, yes.
Steven Wright
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
Steven Wright
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I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
Steven Wright