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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Humor
Memories
Justice
Funny
Everyone
Photographic
Film
Absurd
Memory
Travel
More quotes by Steven Wright
The sun got confused about daylight savings time. It rose twice. Everything had two shadows.
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If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
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Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
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I brought a mirror to Lovers' Lane. I told everybody I'm Narcissus.
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When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?
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What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
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I got a new dog. He's a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he's not sure what I threw him.
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They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.
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Is it possible to be totally partial?
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I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. It's a start.
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
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They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.
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The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
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I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
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I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
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Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
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I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.
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I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
