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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 69
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Memories
Justice
Funny
Everyone
Photographic
Film
Absurd
Memory
Travel
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don’t know how I got there.
Steven Wright
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
Steven Wright
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
Steven Wright
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
Steven Wright
The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.
Steven Wright
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
Steven Wright
Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
Steven Wright
I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Steven Wright
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright
I have a map of the united states .... it's original size ... it says one mile equals one mile.
Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Steven Wright
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Steven Wright
I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
Steven Wright
I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit a bookmark.
Steven Wright
I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was Quote so the last thing I said before I died would be Unquote.
Steven Wright
