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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Justice
Funny
Everyone
Photographic
Film
Absurd
Memory
Travel
Humor
Memories
More quotes by Steven Wright
You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.
Steven Wright
I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.
Steven Wright
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven Wright
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side.
Steven Wright
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.
Steven Wright
I have a fax machine with fax waiting.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Steven Wright
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Steven Wright
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright
I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.
Steven Wright
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Steven Wright
I have all the emotions that everyone has it just appears that I don't.
Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
Steven Wright
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.
Steven Wright
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?
Steven Wright
There's something about being in front of a live audience that's fun. It's a really interesting, very electric, very alive, and intense experience, and you can't get it anywhere else. And I've been doing it since I was 23, so it's part of my being - it's part of my fabric as a person.
Steven Wright
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
Steven Wright
