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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven Wright
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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Memories
Justice
Funny
Everyone
Photographic
Film
Absurd
Memory
Travel
Humor
More quotes by Steven Wright
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.
Steven Wright
What a nice night for an evening.
Steven Wright
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Steven Wright
Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
Steven Wright
In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.
Steven Wright
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
Steven Wright
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.
Steven Wright
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Steven Wright
I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.
Steven Wright
The other night I came home late, and tried to unlock my house with my car keys. I started the house up. So, I drove it around for a while. I was speeding, and a cop pulled me over. He asked where I lived. I said, Right here, officer.
Steven Wright
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
Steven Wright
I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.
Steven Wright
I took a baby shower.
Steven Wright
Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
Steven Wright
Women... can't live with 'em...... can't shoot 'em
Steven Wright
Everything is within walking distance, as long as you have time.
Steven Wright
I thought I would be a guy on the radio.
Steven Wright