Quote

I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
Age: 68
Born: 1955
Born: December 6
Comedian
Film Director
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Writer
Cambridge
Massachusetts
Steven Alexander Wright
Means
Fall
Night
Asleep
Mean
Falls
Going
Legs
Humor
Funny
Hate

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I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.
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Is 'tired old cliché' one?
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I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
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I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.
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I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart.
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I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
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I paint I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
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Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
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If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
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I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
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My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.
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You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
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